首页社会开悟者角度：为什么有些关系让人如此痛苦？现在，做一个快乐的人

开悟者角度：为什么有些关系让人如此痛苦？现在，做一个快乐的人

来源：生活好品牌时间：2021年03月03日 17:04

原标题：开悟者角度：为什么有些关系让人如此痛苦？现在，做一个快乐的人

为什么有些关系让人如此痛苦？成为一个快乐的人

本文来自一位开悟瑜伽士的角度（中英文双语）

Sadhguru: The needs within a human being have risen because of a certain sense of incompleteness. People are forming relationships to experience a certain sense of completeness within themselves. When you have a good relationship with someone dear to you, you feel complete. When you don’t have that, you feel incomplete. Why is this so? Because this life, this piece of life is a complete entity by itself. Why is it feeling incomplete? And, why is it trying to fulfill itself by making a partnership with another piece of life? Fundamental reason is that we have not explored this life in its full depth and dimension. Though that is the basis, there is a complex process of relationships as such. There are expectations, and expectations and expectations and expectations.

Sadhguru：人类内在需求的产生是因为他们有一种不完整的感觉。人们建立关系是为了在他们内在体验一种完整感。当你和你亲近的人有一段良好的关系时，你感到完整。当你没有它的时候，你感到不完整。为什么会这样？因为这个生命，这一个生命自身就是一个完整的个体。那为什么它会感到不完整？而且，为什么它要尝试去找另一个生命作伴来得到自我满足？最基本的原因是我们还没有探索到这个生命的全部深度和广度。尽管那是根源，但各种关系本身也是一个复杂的过程。人们有期待、期待、期待和期待。

The expectations that most people are creating are such that there is no human being on the planet who could ever fulfill those expectations. In the process of holding a relationship, the first moment of meeting the expectations may be common. But as every step that we take in life, the expectations may become different. Because these expectations keep changing in people, they are not consistent and they cannot be. One person may be consistent with the same expectation throughout their life; another person’s expectations may be changing because his perception and experience of life is changing. Now relationships become great conflict. More conflict is happening within the four walls of the homes than is happening anywhere on the planet. Only thing is bombs are not exploding so you don’t hear it. They may be giving each other silent treatment. (Laughter) It is happening because people’s expectations are changing and they are not changing at the same pace.

大部分人所创建的期待是这个星球上没有任何人能满足得了的。在维持一段关系的过程中，刚见面时的期待也许是相同的。但随着我们在人生中走出的每一步，期待都可能会变得不同。因为人们的这些期待一直在改变，他们并非始终如一，而且也做不到那样。某个人也许一生的期待都是始终如一的；另一个人的期待可能一直在变化，因为他对生活的感知和体会一直在变。现在关系变成了巨大的冲突。在家的四面围墙内发生的冲突比世界上任何地方都要多。只是没有炸弹爆炸，所以你听不见，他们或许在冷战。之所以如此，是因为人们的期待一直在变，而且他们变化的步调并不一致。

Fundamentally, why have we sought a relationship? Because you find yourself that without a relationship, if you do not have any kind of relationship in your life then you become depressed. So, fundamentally, you are seeking a relationship because you want to be happy; you want to be joyful. Or in other words you are trying to use the other as a source of your happiness. If you are happy by your own nature, now relationships will become a means for you to express your happiness, not to seek happiness. If you are forming relationships to seek happiness, and trying to squeeze happiness out of somebody, and that person is trying to squeeze happiness out of you, now this is going to be a painful relationship after some time.

从根本上说，为什么我们曾去寻找一段关系？因为你发现如果没有关系你自己就......如果你在生活中没有任何一种关系，那么你就会抑郁。所以，从根本上讲，你在寻找一段关系是因为你想要开心，你想要快乐。换言之就是你试图把他人当成你快乐的源泉。如果你的快乐源自天性，那么关系就变成了你表达快乐的方式，而不是寻找快乐的方式。如果你建立关系是为了寻找快乐，并且试图从别人身上压榨出快乐，而那个人也试图在你身上压榨出快乐，那么，一段时间后，这就会是一段痛苦的关系。

Initially it may be ok because something is being fulfilled. But if you have become a joy by yourself and you are forming relationships because you want to express your happiness, nobody is going to complain about you because you are in the process of expressing your joy, not seeking joy from the other person. So if your life becomes an expression of your joy, not in pursuit of happiness then relationships will be naturally wonderful. You can hold a million relationships and still hold them good. Now, this whole circus of trying to fulfill somebody else’s expectations does not arise because if you are an expression of joy anyway they want to be with you.

起初可能还过得去，因为某些方面得到了满足。但是如果你自己已经成为一个快乐的人，并且你建立关系是因为你想要表达你的快乐，那就没有人会抱怨你了。因为你是在表达自己的快乐，不是在他人身上寻找快乐。所以如果你的生命成了对快乐的表达，而不是对快乐的追求，那么关系就会自然地变得精彩。你可以拥有一百万个关系并且仍然维持得很好。此时，整个试图满足他人期待的马戏就不会出现，因为如果你就是快乐的表达，不管怎样他们都会想和你在一起。